The joys and challenges of ISCP member Rowena’s journey with Cauta have been described through 25 honest and insightful weekly blogs (please go to our Blogs tab and scroll down if you would like to to read from the beginning), and this is her final post for the time being. 

This will be my last postcard for a bit. Sharing our experiences with Cauta has been a lifeline in articulating the myriad of emotions and adventures we have been having. Your responses have helped us see that we are not out in the cold and alone in this, but part of a community that has walked this path before.

It has been tough since the beginning. It has been a real process of adaptation, on both sides. From the night I saw him on a dark street in Romania, I had no way of knowing what would emerge from our time together. It has been an intense learning curve, and a journey we have committed ourselves to, without knowing his past or our future.

I have written about the lighter times here, and some of the darker times too. Entangled in the dark times is the constant sense of responsibility, for his well-being and others around him, constantly managing situations and interactions, planning ahead and catching our breaths. Managing the fallout when he can’t cope.

Behaviours have emerged recently that are the most concerning yet, and we are back in the pit, drawing in help and trying to find a way up. This is why I need to take a break from posting for now, as all our energy needs to go toward helping Cauta and deciding what is best for him. That is all we have tried to do since he appeared, but it may not be enough, or within what we can offer him. Caring for him has taken its toll and we are aware that this environment may, in the end, not be one in which he can thrive. Despite all the workshops, classes, behaviourists, seminars, training, there is a safety issue involved which has to be thought about, for Cauta’s sake.

We have been discussing this with the charity and those who have far more experience than us. It has become clear that once all the pieces of the puzzle are together, it shows that this environment is not one in which Cauta is safe. We need to put him first and give him the best chance he can have of living out his life in safety.

So our roles have shifted from adopter to long term foster carer, while we search for a home that he can thrive in, away from the fears that stress him every day. We will continue to work with him, exploring every option in our time together. Cauta put his trust in us and we have to honour that, even if it means his future, ultimately, is not with us.

For those that have been following this blog please reach out to help find Cauta the home he deserves. Contact Marilyn Angell at https://www.facebook.com/amiciidogrescue/ for more details.

So thank you for being part of our adventure so far. Special thanks to Lisa Tenzin-Dolma who helped us get this far, Marilyn Angell whose experience and advice are greatly valued. And all my love to Kethon Islam, who has been with us every step of the way, on this crazy mission.